GroshLink

Integration of Faith and Parenting (Theresa Grosh, 10/01)

Note: written for the Graduate Christian Fellowship's (GCF) vocation project (VP).  Now that the GCF site has been taken down, over time I'll post the pieces for your blessing.  Thank-you to all the alum (and in this case my wife Theresa) who participated in this work.  Would love to have to hear your current thoughts on the topic, time for an interview with Theresa  Hope to see some of you at the alumni reunion on April 21.  We'll have a 9am breakfast at the Seigfrieds, a 1pm reception most probably at the Adamson Wing, and an evening opportunity yet to be confirmed.  Email me for more details.  Current GCF activities can be found at http://www.u-connectpgh.org  

How does my faith impact my parenting? I ask myself that question every day. As a parent of one-and-a-half-year-old twin girls I face the awesome challenge of modeling Christ to them and laying the foundation for their future understanding of God. It is important for me to reflect on this responsibility daily.

One of the immediate challenges is to remember that the seemingly mundane activities that consume so much of my time are important to God. We live in a society that increasingly devalues the role of the mother as household manager and nurturer of her family. Being surrounded by such pressures can easily cloud my vision of eternity and of the eternal significance I make to my family. It was humbling for me to make the transition from a teaching career to stay-at-home wife and mother. It was easy to define who I was by what I did. I am a Biology teacher. The world readily accepts that definition. More difficult and less socially acceptable is to say, I read Dr. Suess, change diapers, wipe noses, and pick up spilled Cheerios all day long. The lesson I've learned is that God does not define me by what I do but rather by whose I am-His. If I never work for pay another day of my life He will love me no less. And the seemingly insignificant, grungy things I do all day matter to God. I am engaging in the discipline of service. Or I am growing in patience, or joy, or any of the other fruits of the Spirit. After all, how can I grow in patience unless I am in a situation that tries my patience? When I view every little part of my day like that I connect with God.

All that I accounted above I called an immediate challenge -- a daily surrender. Another more difficult struggle and one that is never fully achieved until one experiences it is the acceptance that our children do not ultimately belong to us. Hannah realized this truth early on and was able to tell Eli as she handed over her son Samuel, I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD. (I Sam. 1: 27,28)

This truth became painfully real in March 2000 when our first daughter, Elise Faith, was born 4 months prematurely and died 8 days later. I had struggled throughout my pregnancy to trust God enough to surrender my child to Him. The lessons I learned confronted me again during my pregnancy with the twins. Do I cling so deeply to anything in this life that I would not give it over to God if that is what He asks? Jesus says, Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. (Matt. 10:37) Sometimes our Savior's words are not palatable.

I realize that each day with my children is a gift from God. Although the days can be long and tiring and sometimes even bring me to tears, they are fulfilling and rewarding beyond my wildest imagination. I have gained insight into the mind of my Heavenly Father by being a parent myself, thus enriching my walk with Him. I have learned at times to put the needs of others above my own and try to do so as an act of worship. My marriage has been stretched and strengthened as together we seek to be faithful to the task of parenting. I am astonished at times when I look at my girls and think that a short time ago they did not even exist! Now here they are, entrusted to me to love, nurture, and instruct. Human beings totally dependent on me! It is a thought that brings me to my knees.